THIS is what changes when you get an ADHD diagnosis

I often talk to moms anxiously awaiting a formal evaluation and diagnosis of ADHD for their child... and the question is always the same. What can I do to help my child even though they don’t have a formal diagnosis? Yes, a diagnosis does expand your options for medical treatment and school accommodations, but first I want to offer you a different perspective. A perspective of what you might be thinking if you suspect ADHD or your child already has a diagnosis of ADHD... So this is YOU before the diagnosis - This is what you might be asking yourself and feeling…

1. What is ADHD exactly?

2. What kind of doctor should I see for an evaluation?

3. What caused this? Do I have it? Does my partner have it?

4. Will my child have to take medications?

5. Does my insurance cover this?

6. What does this mean for my child’s future?

And this is YOU after the diagnosis - This is also what you might be asking yourself and feeling…after an evaluation.

1. That explains a lot.

2. Now what?

3. Whew, well at least now we can get him the help he needs.

4. What treatment is best for my child that we can actually afford?

5. Do we tell anyone?

And here is what YOUR CHILD might be feeling before their diagnosis…

1. I’m different.

2. I’m trying my best but it’s just too hard.

3. Will my parents still love me if I’m broken?

4. I wish I was just "normal" like everyone else.

And here is what YOUR CHILD might be feeling AFTER a diagnosis...

1. I really am different.

2. I’m trying my best but it’s always going to be hard for me

3. Do my parents still love me now that it’s true that I really am broken?

4. Why can’t I just be "normal" like everyone else

While this may not be the thoughts of EVERY child with a new diagnosis. (this is unfortunately pretty common.) So knowing this may be how your child is feeling right now...these are the areas to focus...and help your child even more...regardless of their diagnosis!

1. GET CLEAR - clear on your values, clear on what’s really important to your family. And ask yourself: What is MOST important to you? Achievement and Success? Love and Connection with your child? Learning and Growth? Peace and Comfort? It’s up to you to decide.

2. Empower them with CHOICE - allow them to ask questions and explore what works for them without judgement (yes, there may be things they MUST do, but having a choice feels good). Remember...you don’t like to be told what you MUST do either!

3. Focus on their STRENGTHS. They already know their weaknesses...and everyone is currently focused on fixing their weaknesses. But what would be even more helpful is if you help them notice where they excel. Maybe they are very kind, funny or helpful. Or maybe they are really good at sports, art or music. Whatever it is, point it out… and do it OFTEN.

4. LOVE & connection - ensure your child has 100% certainty that you will forever love them through all their screw ups and bad decisions...because there will be mistakes and lots of them.

AND THE FINAL ONE....

YOU - The number one piece of advice that EVERY expert, book author, and researcher agrees on... is the need for parents to work on themselves first. What does that mean?

It means living your own best life. Getting up everyday with a joyful attitude because you are happy and fulfilled in your own life...it means modeling the behavior you want to see in your children...it means being your best authentic self... It means modeling emotional regulation skills, self care and balance….so you can be there to help them when they need you most…right now.

But please remember...you don’t need to be perfect...you just need to recognize when "helping" your child shifts and becomes unhelpful...and then do something more helpful instead. Don’t stay stuck! Invest your time, invest your money, whatever it takes to achieve the life you really want for you and your child. Persist! Angel P.S. If you’re ready ready to get unstuck then I’d love to support you - with a free 45 minute call. The ADHD Chaos to Clarity Call is where you get a better understanding of where you are, where you want be...and how to get there. The choice is yours :)