The real reason your kid hates school

My son is disruptive, distracted, forgetful, messy, argumentative, destructive, impulsive, disorganized, sensitive, and forgetful. And when he was finally diagnosed with ADHD, this is what I had been hearing from his teachers for YEARS…

In Kindergarten, he cut his own hair and attempted to cut his classmates' hair… with his safety scissors (before they were confiscated by the teacher).

In first grade, he fell out of his chair at school (and had to get several stitches in his right eyebrow.) In second grade he called 911 from a school (twice) on a dare from another kid.

In third grade he had to replace classroom toys that he destroyed out of boredom. And there are more…but let’s get to the point.

And at home I would tell him the same…If you would just finish this work in class we wouldn’t have to do it at home! (you are so distracted.) Why can’t you just put your clothes in the laundry basket? (you are so messy.) You forgot your homework again? You lost another water bottle? (you are so forgetful)

Sound familiar?

Well, I’m here to tell you IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT you think this way! Our brains do so many things we don’t even notice. (and noticing the negative is a superpower.)

Our brains perform things like mental shortcuts…that help us categorize our world and conserve brain energy. Humans absolutely LOVE to CATEGORIZE EVERYTHING! And categories do help us make sense of our world and keep us safe from things we CATEGORIZE as “dangerous”.

But some categories are just plain unhelpful. Unhelpful to your kids, unhelpful to managing their behavior, and downright unhelpful to your child’s happiness and success.

And even worse…your child receives a mountain of painful categories from their world…from their teachers (like the ones above)…from their peers…and maybe even from you.

So think about it…

If you repeatedly hear these categories…you start to believe them…and they can quickly become your identity. (like my son…the “disruptive, destructive boy who can’t pay attention”)

It’s the moment I realized that no one (not even me) noticed the good parts of him! And if MOM didn’t notice his good parts…who was going to??

His strengths like…humor (best jokes ever!), his curiosity and awesome questions, his creativity (the creativity is truly amazing)…and his kindness.

Because if he has any hope of being in the green brain zone (ever), then he needs to hear these words of admiration from the person who loves him most…MOM.

Persist!

Angel McKim

P.S. Sign up at HappyRevolutions.com and keep an eye out for the next email and let’s tackle those behavior challenges by looking beyond the behavior at the root cause.